4 Tips to Overcome Guilt When Moving Mom into Assisted Living
Moving your mom into an assisted living home may be one of the most difficult decisions you will ever make—and the one that is most laden with guilt.
Why do I feel so guilty?
There may be many reasons why you feel guilty entrusting your mom’s care to an assisted living home. It
may be hard to put your finger on just one. Some of the most common reasons for feeling guilty are
because you think:
– You made the decision too soon—or not soon enough
– You are betraying her by placing her in someone else’s care
– You feel selfish that you feel relieved for not having to worry about her 24/7
– You shouldn’t be out having a good time—you should be taking care of your parent instead
– You let your family down
How can I overcome my guilt?
In order to overcome your guilt and find peace with your decision, you may need to take a step back,
dissect your feelings, and look at it from another direction.
Acknowledge your guilt
First, acknowledge that guilt over this decision is common. Your reasons for feeling guilty are coming
from a place of love and compassion for your parent. You only want what is best for her.
There are no easy answers here. You haven’t failed her—so go ahead and let that one go. Few adults are
in a situation where they can provide around-the-clock care for their aging parents. Moving her to an assisted living home that is equipped to tend to her daily needs will help her live more comfortably. And being around
other residents will help her to develop social bonds that might not happen if she is in your home.
Make a plan
Just because she is in an assisted living home doesn’t mean that you will never see her again. On the
contrary, your time together may be higher quality because you can spend time reminiscing, playing
games, having coffee, and visiting instead of tending to daily care tasks. Let her know when and how
often you plan to visit so she can look forward to it.
Talk to someone
If after your mother has settled into the assisted living home and you have established your “new normal”
routine of visiting and checking on her with the staff, you are still not able to overcome your guilt,
consider talking to a mental health professional. They will be able to help you sort out your feelings and
recommend methods to cope with these feeling and help you navigate this transitional time in your life.
When you are faced with the difficult decision to move your parent to a senior care facility, it is normal
to experience guilt. However, you don’t have to wear those feelings forever. It is possible to overcome
them and find peace in your decision that you are doing what is best for mom.
If you have a parent or loved one who is having difficulty with day-to-day tasks, contact us at Carol Ann’s
Homes. We provide long term assisted living and Alzheimer’s memory care in small home settings. We
will work with you to understand your parent’s unique needs and develop a personalized program to
ensure your loved one is comfortable, safe, and at home. See our advice page for more information.